


Bittersweet on Spring Day

by sseundalkhom



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Break Up, F/M, Mental Breakdown, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 22:03:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10500351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sseundalkhom/pseuds/sseundalkhom
Summary: living in the trace of memories where Wonwoo is still living inside her, she still hopes that he will comeback for her.





	

 

 

Everyone enjoy spring rain. But I can’t. It’s not like I hate the fact how pretty and addicting to be under the rain during the spring, yet there is something memorable within. The fact of couple walking together under the same umbrella, linking their arm and warming each other endlessly with a shower sound fills in, I dislike it. Too much memories about it since I met that person. He was too kind towards me until I became besotted with him. Everything about him that makes me to find a person better than him is a difficult task. I love how tender he is to hold me in his arm.   
  
He was the man who has a cordiality by his attitude. He was very placid about everything at the first place, yet soon when I became into him, he was a gentle and sensitive person though he was not too obvious to show his emotion but I knew how upset or excited he was that time. He had a nice laugh, it’s ringing every time I remind of him. His laughter was my favorite part - _and it’s still._ His addictive voice was the best part, every time he …  
  
I sigh. It’s several times I recall a past in this new spring. I should have moved on, than moping around as I hope he will come back to me though it’s impossible to believe.   
  
I take another sip of my coffee, still ogling people through this cafe’s wide window. Being a bit envy of sweet couple is likely a new habit of mine. I miss him a lot though he is not by my side any longer, still - the feeling is lingering calmly within me and somehow it’s painful for me to handle it alone. Sitting inside the cafe where I used to hangout with him, it’s hurting myself too but I can’t help myself to avoid this place. It’s warm and comfy, _just like him_. He is a warm person, although his appearance is beyond ‘warm’ definition. I chuckle at myself for reminding the time where I mistook him as a cool person just by his blank emotion, when he was persistent to be a quiet person — not willingly showed off his skill of stand-up comedy which baffled me a lot. That time too, I fell in love with someone beyond my ideal person.   
  
_Jeon Wonwoo._  
  
I miss the time when he snaked his hand around my waist naturally and pulled me closer to him as he held my cold hands. He was too warm for me. Also his smile soothed me in my tough days. He was there for me. But now, his place is empty. Only the hollow hope fills up his spot. The hollow hope that he’ll comeback for me, and only me. I twitch my lips in a crescent-moon shape, feeling ashamed of myself to expect more regarding him.   
  
In spite of that, I can’t help myself for yearning so much of him.  _I need you, Wonwoo._  
  
I take the last sip of my coffee before I make a departure from the spot I used to be previously. Drifting away to a path I don’t know. The rain has stopped recently, that’s a plain excuse to get out immediately from the cafe before I sink into another sentimentality which also a time I hate the most. I step on the road where I used to get back to home together with Wonwoo. He was a good guy who always accompanied me to home, in order to keep me away from any possibilities of crime scenes.   
  
My pace is light, just as though wind holds me when I walk at the same road. Everything I see is a light pastel color fills the city, spreading their softness throughout the town, also the light smile and laughter which reminds me again concerning the one person. The burden I used to bear, became light when he was around me. Whenever he was there, everything seemed alright soon, _free-worry_. Or it’s like I depended on him too much? I don’t know either.   
  
A step I take.   
  
Another step I take.   
  
I’m counting down silently in my heart, whether I can see him again before my eyes or not. I have passed the days when I distracted myself by doing my work diligently and punctually finishing it before the deadline. But after that, I will find myself sinking into a beautiful reminisce of him. Just as though if I think of him again, I feel an ease within me, being alive after the hectic days drain it to its limit till the ease suffocates to the death. I like to stay where the past lingering in me, keeping the memory of Wonwoo with it.   
  
However, I wonder if it’ll be able to remain forever or…  
  
Something … no, it’s someone who stifles me.   
  
_Jeon Wonwoo._   
  
He is walking before my eyes. I wish I am just hallucinating since I think of him a lot. Yet no, I’m not. I pinch a bit of my skin, and it’s itchy. I see him flashing a smile under this bright sky. A rainbow also supports a scene above us. The wrinkles of his nose whenever he smiles brightly, I see it today. His eyes forms a crescent-moon shape as he pulls a beam on his face.   
  
I take a step to approach him. But…  
  
There is a flash of light sitting on his finger. A ring. He has someone else. His smile brightens someone else' day.   
  
He is getting closer to me, but there is a slender arm clinging onto him. There is someone else that wearing the same ring with him. I can’t differentiate whether it’s hallucination or a twist of my story, it seems unreal to me. His smile, his figure, the rainbow behind and this spring — it’s only appearing in my expectation but the ring on his finger and how someone else tangles an arm around him without any worries strikes my mind.   
  
Every step suffocate me to the death. Here I am, being so pathetic to expect him coming back to my side yet the reality hits me hard by seeing him with anyone else - _that exactly it is not me._ That could never be me. I am hurt by seeing it. 

The second counts every step I get closer to him, try to not being a frank one and pretend to not know him just like other strangers who attempt to not greet their exes. It is so frustrating to be here today. Seeing him is just like a bittersweet for me. One side it’s a kind of catharsis to see him in this spring, I ever thought it would never be a reality, yet I’m relief that he is still smiling brightly to face this world. Inversely with me who still have a hard time to manage a smile facing up to life.   
  
Also in another side, encountering the moment where I see him passing by me, giggling with the girl beside him who shyly showing off her lovely eyes toward him, it’s hurt actually. However, I’m glad…  
  
I’m glad to realize about the time I’ve spent thus far, it’s useless and I was wasting my time on putting my expectation high which I’d denied that it’s all dull hope. I should have stopped hoping for him and move on. I’m glad to know that it’s the saddest truth I should accept. I will not live in a vain dream any longer.   
  
_Then,_  
  
I stop my step, turning myself back to see for the last time. He is also there, stopping his pace and turning back to look at me. He smiles, just as though he bids a farewell. I nods then we walk on our own path, continue to where we’ve aimed before. A tear rolls down on my cheek as I take a brave step out my comfort zone. I will leave the trace of memories where the past of me and him lives there.   
  
For the first time, I let him go in a relief smile. I let him go to get his own happiness, just like the Sky will get me to reach my own happiness.   
  


끝


End file.
